


i was the darkness and you were the light

by ibrokeeverything



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Introspection, Post-Canon, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibrokeeverything/pseuds/ibrokeeverything
Summary: "Every time regret crept into his thoughts, poisoning his good intentions, he fell back to that easy mantra. 'She’s found a happy life, because I’m not in it.' He’d repeat it to himself as many times as he needed to, until the urge to run off and find her quieted to a gentle simmer from the raging boil, threatening to spill over."ora fic about Gray missing Carmen after removing her from his life.
Relationships: Gray | Crackle/Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep
Comments: 4
Kudos: 101





	i was the darkness and you were the light

**Author's Note:**

> This is a canon-divergence where the V.I.L.E. operatives don't get arrested directly following the events of the series finale.

With squinted eyes, Gray peeks around the corner, scanning the long halls for signs of movement. The guards have already been taken care of, knocked out by Tigress and Paper Star. The two don’t get along at all, but they actually work as a decent team, even if it’s accompanied by endless bickering over the comms. Gray hears more snarky comments and passive-aggressive digs than ever since the addition of the colorful Japanese girl to their team. The two girls are often paired together, with Tigress’ close combat and Paper Star’s long-range, they make for a great one-two punch to take out unsuspecting guards. 

Still, Gray watches with careful eyes, making sure no others were dispatched. Getting overconfident or letting your guard down can spell doom. He knows that better than anyone. One slip-up means that your life with V.I.L.E is over for good. He was lucky enough to get a second chance, thanks to ACME’s experimental technology. But, he knows that if he gets caught again, there will absolutely not be a third chance. He’d be dumped back in Australia again with an even bigger chunk of missing memories and a dead-end electrician job waiting for him. So, he strides forward in the shadows with careful and quiet, yet quick, steps. Ducking behind pillars and columns whenever possible, he makes his way through the hall and presses his back to the wall. With a snappy glance around the corner, he spots his two formerly mentioned teammates crouched beside a display case, fiddling with a gadget provided by Dr. Bellum. 

He was assigned with securing an exit for this mission. With El Topo and Le Chevre out on another mission, he’s pretty sure it’s in Greece, it’s just Gray and the girls. Since they worked better as a pair, they were tasked with getting in and getting the target items, while he was tasked with finding an exit route. Their entrance was through a window high above the ground, so it would’ve been difficult to get the dresses— Queen Elizabeth’s dresses from a museum in Bath— back up and out. So, he needs to find a way out. With the room cleared, he gets to work on doing said task. With a sharp gaze, he analyzes the room for potential escape routes. There are a couple windows; too high up. Of course, the front door’s an option, but that’d draw far too much attention. He’s on the lookout for a back or service entrance, something that’s off the beaten path, but relatively accessible. 

Carefully stalking the empty halls, crackle rod humming in hand, he turns a corner. As soon as he rounds the bend, a flash of red catches his eye at the end of the hall. For a moment, his heart stops, then leaps into his throat. It pounds a hard rhythm against his ribs as he stops dead in his tracks. She’s not supposed to be here. He hasn’t seen her since she stunned him and left him for dead all those months ago. She’s supposed to be living a happy life away from crime and V.I.L.E and himself. If she’s here, then it means that what he did was for nothing. Pushing her away was worthless. It means that he’d been subject to a life without her for no reason. Everything he did to protect her was for nothing. 

He supposes it was always a possibility. Just because she thought he was dead didn’t mean they’d never cross paths again. Even though she has her memories back and was free of him didn’t mean that she’d choose a life free of fighting V.I.L.E. That was her lifelong mission, since breaking away from V.I.L.E anyway. Who’s he to think that she’d give that up just because she had the ability to walk away? Still, after months of having not seen her, he was sure that she went and found a peaceful life somewhere. That thought alone was what justified his actions, soothing frayed nerves on sleepless nights. Every time regret crept into his thoughts, poisoning his good intentions, he fell back to that easy mantra.  _ She’s found a happy life, because I’m not in it.  _ He’d repeat it to himself as many times as he needed to, until the urge to run off and find her quieted to a gentle simmer from the raging boil, threatening to spill over. 

But here he is, frozen, boots rooted to the slick tiles floors beneath his feet. Everything in him is screaming to move, to follow her, to go and see her one more time. Yet, his legs won’t move and his head feels foggy. Wrestling with the idea for what felt like an eternity, but was likely only a few seconds, he lets out a shaky breath and bolts after her. Footfalls not nearly quiet enough, he dashes to the end of the hall. He has no idea what he’ll say when he sees her again, or if he’ll say anything at all, but he can’t waste the time to think about that. He just has to see her for himself, one more time. 

Whipping around the corner, he finds himself stopping dead in his tracks yet again. A red banner flutters on the wall beside him, moving with the gentle breeze from an air vent. It’s covered in a looping gold font, denoting the transition to a different section of the museum. Frustration floods out through his body, curling his fingers into fists and knitting his brows into an expression somewhere between a wince and a scowl. The worst part is that he doesn’t even know what to blame the frustration on. He’s equal parts angry at himself for getting his hopes up and disappointed that he didn’t find Carmen standing there, looking back at him with determined eyes. Then, the shame sets in at his selfishness. It burns under his skin, searing a path through his veins. Sure, he steals for a living, but one of the few lines that he’s not willing to cross is that he will not, under any circumstances, hurt Carmen. Yet, here he is, perfectly willing to complicate, and potentially ruin, her life just to see her again. His own selfish impulses took precedent when face to face with the choice he made months ago. When confronted with the girl who quite literally stole his heart, he let himself get sloppy and forget everything he’s worked for. 

It was so much easier to separate himself from Carmen when he was lying in a hospital bed, probably countries away from her. As tempted as he was to ask the ACME chief to put him in contact with Carmen, it was significantly easier than having to stop himself from going after her when he thought she was right there, close enough to touch. He knew he had started to slip lately. He supposed it was true that distance made the heart grow fonder. Every time he caught a glimpse of a red hoodie, he did a double take, half-expecting to see her deep red hair tied up into a bun. But every time, he was let down by a black bob or beachy blonde waves. He felt like he was losing it. He saw her everywhere, but after taking a closer look, she was nowhere to be found. Doubt had started chewing at his thoughts, wondering if he made the right choice. Maybe he should have given up V.I.L.E and stayed with Carmen. What kind of life would he have had if he made one different choice? But, it was too late now. He was deeper in V.I.L.E. than ever and Carmen was elusive as ever.

Gray works to pull himself back to reality, shaking his head and leveling his gaze. There’s no point in regretting anything now. He can’t change the past and nothing’s going to change that. He looks around, remembering the precarious situation he’s currently in, before registering a sound in his ear. 

“Crackle!” He realizes it’s Tigress, shouting into the comms. “Gray!” she yells. 

“Sorry, what is it?” he replies, words quickly spilling off his lips. He forces himself back to work, jogging through the new section, scanning the rooms for a back door.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she hisses. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for way too long!” Her voice crackles and cuts out here and there, but the venom dripping off her words comes through just fine. 

“I got caught up,” he lies straight through his teeth, before spotting what looks like an entrance to an employee-only area. 

“I’m sure you did.” She doesn’t sound convinced in the slightest. That, or she simply doesn’t care, even if he did run into trouble. “Now do your job and get us out of here!” 

“Will do,” he replied, rattling off directions to his current location. Running a hand through his hair, disheveling the pushed-back style, he lets out a long breath and cautiously starts to pick the lock on the door. This is his life now, like it or not, and he’d better do a good job, or he’ll be left with nothing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed it! I wrote this because I wasn't too happy with the ending of the show. I wasn't in love with a lot of the choices they made, but this is specifically to address Gray not staying in touch with Carmen. Anyway, thank you so much for reading!


End file.
